I Rather Be Hit By Traffic

Hid — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 21:35:43 +0000

I wish I could write music. This would be such a good title to a song. I can so imagine it playing over Graze. I attempted to break up with Zul again tonight. I was feeling seriously pissy-offy and I needed to indulge in my addiction. It felt weird not being able to do without it since I’ve been going off it for awhile, and haven’t been consuming it in as large a dose as before. The feeling of slight relief at being able to leave an hour early from work was momentous. Which makes one question yet again why good things never last. But really, neither do bad things but we’re humans. What do we know? So anyway, Zul wanted to sleep the night away and when he did wake up, it was to piss me off.

“Thank you for hearing me…

…thank you for breaking my heart.”

– Sinead O’Connor

I did the inevitable. I put myself in a position where he’d have no more tolerance for me. But love prevails. Where there is no tolerance, there is no love. And I believe in that. Right from the word go, right from when I first knew love, I believed in it. That you could walk away but love’d make you come back. I’ll be losing my biggest love yet, but I’d be embracing a new future. I’m thinking positive now, but tomorrow, I’d be subject to torture in every sense of the word.

“If I want to fuck, I can go and fuck anybody

I want outside.

It doesn’t have to be you.

Get it.”

I didn’t ask for that. And it made me wish he’d just cheated on me so there would’ve been closure. God, if he’s done anything wrong to me, I’d really like to know about it now.

On another note, I’ve decided to sell the watch my mom bought me when I was training with SIA. I’m not sure how much it’s valued but Zul once said I could sell it and I’m going to try. Plus I checked online and the brand’s listed under sellable pre-owned watches. If I could get my hands on some moolah tomorrow that’d be great. And I’ll take my high all the way into Sunday brunch. Just watch me.

Also, I’m waiting for my Spanish tutorial newsletter from BBC. It’s taking forever. I want to be able to converse in Spanish by June, and finally conquer WordPress. Those are some of my personal goals for June, which should keep me busy. I’m buying a web domain on my first paycheque and getting Dan to figure out WordPress for me so I can work on my lifestyle blog. It’s an exciting and emotionally consuming project, one I’ve been dying to do for years. And oh yeah, I gotta get started on improving my AAT shop! Plus, hosting by the Cinema at Graze has made me want to own old movies! Especially Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Roman Holiday and Gone With The Wind!

For now, I’m going to try falling asleep.

Agenda Later Today

- Sell off my Tissot watch (I could always get it back, or buy myself a rose gold Skagen Denmark mesh watch off KrisWorld to compensate)

- Read all my self-help paraphernalia and choose one instructable to apply for the month (Note: It should align with my personal goals)

- Try not to make a mistake at work

- Study cocktail list and apply it into research for AOS (project project!)

XOXO,

Hid

Dancing with myself.

Hid — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:42:39 +0000

Life is short, but wide.
– Genevieve Whitman, Divine Secrets of the Yaya Sisterhood

Turquoise is the new pink. It is such an indulgent and addictive colour. As much fun as it used to be to hate it, I bloody love it! Also, it’s sorta one-third of Gala’s national colours and if I were even a region close to New York (where she is now the mega doll) I’d totally crash her parties.

It’s been a slow six months, and when I say slow, I really mean it. The only good thing that came out of this half a year is that I finally made it through the stack of DVDs I’d been meaning to watch plus an entire slingbag-full. Plus, to be ridiculously optimistic about the slump of an economy and a P-I-A vacuum of jobs (I can’t even get a cheap internship on this side of the planet, can you believe it??!), I’ve actually learnt how important it is to let miracles happen, at least until I’ve got enough savings, my own place and a vehicle to bum around on while I land my pretty dreamy job. In actual words, I’ve learnt to stick to a job, make it into a career, and realise my dreams simultaneously.

I mean, come on, if your most favourite thing to do was watch re-runs of the wedding scene off a romantic comedy, you couldn’t literally earn money out of doing that all day, can you? CAN YOU?

If you contribute to a self-help online magazine, don’t answer that.

So anyway, step one of getting serious has been achieved. Thank goodness a statutory company of the government still wants to hire me. I’ve been accepted as a General Education Officer (GEO) on a one-year contract prior to my teacher training, which will bond me to the Ministry for three years.

I can certainly work with that. And I don’t know how these people get these ideas but they really seem to think I’ve landed the career of the century. Which is exactly how I felt when I got the job flying for Singapore Airlines.

I’ve decided to set weekly goals. And I’m going to stick to them. I will achieve one thing every week. I hope this works. Really I do. Anyway, this week’s a really good one. Inspired by Selena Quintanilla Perez (you should watch her life story it’s heart-wrenching) and Vicky Cristina Barcelona (watch that too it makes me want to jump in Barca), I’m going to finish a weekly beginner’s course in Spanish courtesy of BBC.

A new job and a free Spanish lesson (first time I’m testing it, I’ll report!). I like this week already. Update on this next Wednesday.

Oh and it was Papa’s birthday today! It was the first time we had strangers sing him a birthday song in public and I kept watching under the table to see if he was going to kick me yet.

A smile, that's a good sign.

XOXO,
Hid

bolts 'n donuts

I Rather Be Hit By Traffic

Dancing with myself.